A Spanish Inquisition!
by Typewriter Misadventures
Summary: Klaus' simple interrogation runs awry when Azusa makes the mistake of repeating the wrong quote and chaos ensues. A Monty Python inspired parody.


**Recently, I was talking to my sister about Wizardess Heart and ow Azusa should have been caught in his route, and some how we swapped subjects to Monty Python (which my sister is more of a fan of), specifically the whole Spanish inquisition which lead to this.**

 **For the most part, like I mention in the summary, this in a Monty Python inspired parody which is a one shot.**

 **Neither me or my sister own either Wizardess Heart or Monty Python.**

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The prefects office was quiet, the door was shut although it wasn't locked. Klaus glared at Azusa Kuse who sat serenely across from him as he managed to deflect every question Klaus aimed at him regarding back magic and his use of it. Randy, of course wasn't making an attempt to help considering that he believed that Azusa was innocent. He and his living stuffed animal, Taffy were carrying out an absurd experiment while Klaus tried to focus on his suspect.

"Trust me Mr. Goldstein," Azusa insisted with a smile, "I assure you that I've never once used black magic before, and I certainly wouldn't start now, what with all of these pigeon killings going on." Klaus' hands formed fists as he said, "Is that so?"

Azusa nodded emphatically as he said, "Of course!" before he added, "I really wasn't expecting a Spanish inquisition."

Klaus frowned and asked, "What's a-" the door to the prefect's house slammed open as Luca, Elias, and Yukiya strode in wearing red robes as Elias proclaimed, "No one expects a Spanish Inquisition!" Klaus redirected his attention to his younger brother as he demanded, "What are you doing!? I'm in the middle a serious interrogation! And what in the world are you wearing!?"

Randy had started giggling to himself and Elias replied, "The Inquisition robes? They were Luca's idea."

"Confess!" Luca hollered, "Confess!"

Klaus gaped at the three. Yukiya was a deadpan as ever while Luca was openly exuberant and Elias nodded seriously as as if he agreed with what was happening.

Luca pointed into the air above himself as he yelled, "Yukiya, get the uncomfy chair!" Yukiya cast a spell and a basic wooden chair appeared in front of him.

Azusa rolled his eyes, "You have to be kidding me." Klaus had began to turn red, the veins in the forehead showed prominently as he once again demanded, "I said, what are you doing!?"

Elias turned to look at his brother as he replied, "Don't you see, Klaus? We're helping you question him!" Luca ignore Klaus's infuriated confusion and Randy who was now giggling harder as Luca yelled, "Yukiya! Summon the ancient cushion!" Yukiya once again lifted his wand and a worn out, flowered cushion appeared on the wooden chair which the trio proceeded to place Azusa on.

"Confess!" hollered Luca.

"Confess!" yelled Elias.

"Confess." said Yukiya, his tone and expression still deadpan.

By this point Randy was flat out laughing while Klaus had began to have a fit. Footsteps approached, and Headmaster Randolf poked his head into the Prefect's room and asked, "What are you boys doing?"

Azusa looked rather put out as he complained, "They're torturing me!" and Elias corrected, "Spanish Inquisition!" Klaus immediately said, "I just want to know what a Span-""I see." Headmaster Randolf interrupted, "Try not to make a mess of the place." He then proceeded to walk away as Klaus sputtered angrily and Randy rolled on the floor laughing.

Luca's attention shifted back to Azusa as he yelled, "Yukiya! Get the feather duster!" Yukiya produced an old feather duster and began to tickle Azusa's nose. Azusa squirmed and yelled, "No!" as Yukiya continued to tickle him.

Luca crossed his arms as he said, "We know what you've done!"

"The animals told me." Yukiya said.

"The animals told him!" Elias repeated.

Once again, Luca yelled, "Confess! Confess!"

Azusa continued to refused as he shouted, "No!" before he sneezed."

Luca turned away and cried, "Yukiya, get Liz's hair ribbons!" Yukiya hurried off to borrow Liz's hair ribbons in exchange for some sweets. Once he'd returned Luca insisted, "Tie him down!" Azusa sweated slightly and Elias yelled, "Yukiya, get the chocolate chip cookies!"

"What!?" yelled Azusa

"What!?" echoed Klaus as Randy continued to laugh.

Azusa looked incredulous as he demanded, "You're forcing me to eat chocolate chip cookies? You're not very good at this." Luca ignored him as he added, "Yukiya, retrieve the milk!" Yukiya left and returned with milk and cookies courtesy of Liz Hart. Azusa watched the trio disdainfully as he said, "You really aren't that scary, you know." Yukiya didn't so much as look at him as he replied, "This is our snack break. You can't have any."

The milk and cookies were divvied up between the trio and Randy stopped laughing long enough to accept his. Luca carefully place a cookie into Klaus' mouth but it merely fell out uneaten.

Once the cookies were eaten, and the milk was drunk, Elias said, "The snack breaks over, let's resume the inquisition."

The trio turned back to Azusa, "Confess!" Luca yelled.

"Confess!" Elias yelled.

"Confess." Yukiya said.

"I refuse!" Azusa argued.

Luca crossed his arms, "We know what you did to the birds!"

"The birds told me." Yukiya said.

Elias looked confused as he said, "The birds died, Yukiya." "The other birds told me." Yukiya replied. Luca continued without paying any attention to the small conversation the other two had, "We know what you did to Liz!"

"The birds told me that too." Yukiya added.

The living birds or the dead birds?" Elias asked?

"The living birds, of course." Yukiya answered.

"Oh course." Elias agreed,

Luca pointed into the air again with the same zeal as he'd had the entire time and began, "Yukiya! Get the-""Alright!" Azusa bellowed, "I did it!"

"Did what?" Luca asked."

Azusa glared as he spat, "I killed the birds with dark magic!"

"And?" Luca pressed.

"And I put a curse on Liz Hart!" Azusa continued.

Yukiya almost looked bored as he asked, "That all of it?"

Azusa looked no less angry as he spat out, "And I'm using a dark magical creature to do it! I was going to kill a unicorn!" Randy immediately stopped laughing as he said, "Wait ... What!?" Azusa glared at the trio as he demanded, "Will you stop using your idiotic forms of torture? They are infuriating!"

Luca grinned, "Yep! We got it all."

Elias nodded in satisfaction as he said, "We've recorded the entire conversation."

"Thank you for your cooperation." Yukiya added.

Randy cried to himself as Taffy tried to soothe his master and Azusa let out a loud pterodactyl-like scream. Klaus nearly pulled chunks out of his hair before he pointed sharply at the door and the trio exited.

As the trio paraded through the doorway into the hall, Headmaster Randolf entered and asked, "Did I miss the snack break?"

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 **Well, this was a pleasant adventure into parody. I don't go into that genre much, but I always enjoy it when I do. With any luck, I should write more for Shall We Date stories.  
**


End file.
